Some girls consider their first boyfriend to be the one who is first to kiss them. Okay, I guess that qualifies. Nevertheless, the attributes that I felt were important were how a boy treated me and how I treated him.
I was not like the young girls who were so eager to have a boyfriend. I didn’t like the first boy who kissed me. If truth were told, I was appalled by his actions. Being a young lady of five years old, I had high standards and exalted hopes for my future. I was well aware of the reality that I was not of age to even consider any affairs of a romantic nature — and certainly not with Steve.
There was a whole swarm of us kids outside in the late afternoon playing Kick the Can, a game closely related to Hide and Go Seek. I was hiding behind the bushes along the front of my home. Other kids were hiding in other places within a perimeter of three front yards. Steve showed up behind the same bushes where I was on my haunches. I moved over so that if he were found, maybe I still would be hidden. The stupid boy moved closer to me! All I did was give him a look of disgust. That’s when he kissed me. I quickly wiped my lips off with my hand (dirty from keeping my balance) and moved to the side of the house hoping that I hadn’t been seen. I, of course, refused to speak to him from then on and made awful faces at him in school.
By the time I hit fifth grade, I decided I wanted a boyfriend so that I’d fit in better with the other girls at school. I was still horrified by the idea of kissing a boy. After all, I certainly wasn’t kissing my brother who was also a boy. Still, I had observed that the boys and girls weren’t kissing at school. I figured if I could have a boyfriend that I’d only see at school, this appalling act wouldn’t be happening.
John was new to the school. I didn’t have a clue as to where he lived really, although I did know that I wasn’t seeing him on my three-block walk to or from school. What’s more, he liked me. I felt fantastic because most of the girls in my class liked John, and yet, he had chosen me.
The romance was minimal at best. It was this way with all of the kids. We were just fluttering our wings, one of those preparations for that day far off in the future when we would leave our parents’ nest. For the time being, romance was walking hand in hand around the schoolyard during the few minutes before school and during lunchtime, stopping occasionally to talk to a friend. My ‘love relationship’ with John lasted a whole big two weeks. I was relieved when it was over, and pointedly decided that John was not my first boyfriend either. If it had been real, I would have known more about him. At least this was my logic about the subject at the time.
Junior high school was different. I was no longer a child, and I had the curves and mood swings to prove it. I was still hanging out/around with my childhood friend, Linda. She was 1 ½ years older than I was so, of course, she knew more about boys than I did. Her boyfriend’s name was Don; and he lived across town from where we were. Despite the physical distance that was usually between them, they made it work; and it worked for over two years.
About once each month, Don would ride his bike all the way across town to see Linda. I knew what they were doing in Linda’s bedroom while her mom was at work but I didn’t say a word to anyone about it. Although I was intrigued by their relationship, I knew that I was a long way off from being ready for that. Was Linda ready at that young age? Even when I stop to think about it now, I’m still not sure what the answer should be.
It was through Don that I was introduced to Bob. This didn’t mean we were seeing each other physically though. I was introduced over the phone. Bob, like me, was younger than his friend was. This knowledge, plus the miles between us, made me feel wonderfully comfortable. Each night a nine o’clock, he would call and we would talk for an hour, more when we could get away with it. Both sets of parents were on board with this relationship. My mom called Bob my ‘telephone boyfriend’ as if it wasn’t quite real.
Bob and I felt differently about our feelings for each other. Although we knew for certain that it wasn’t love, we were definitely in ‘like’ with each other. We genuinely care how the other one felt on a number of subjects.
We met face to face once. It was the following holiday season from when we had first ‘met’. Both sets of parents were beginning to realize that when we got in high school, we may just start actually dating. All four of them decided that there should be a meeting of sorts between them. It ended up that I, along with my parents, went to Bob’s house for desert after our Sunday supper at home. The get-together went well. We exchanged Christmas gifts and played records in the family room while the parents chatted away in the living room.
No, our relationship didn’t last until we were both sophomores in high school, but he most certainly was my first real boyfriend. A memory I still ponder on once in a great while.
When was your first ‘love relationship’?
- The Need For a Boyfriend (0205deandrajo.wordpress.com)