Ending The Endless Worry

Image provided by
Wonderlane @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/wonderlane/

This is the last assignment in the email course I’ve been taking, Inner Journey. Writing Bliss has this and other free email courses at their site. If you’re feeling stuck on what to write in your blog, this is a good source of ideas. Here are the other five lessons I’ve completed in this series: Meaning At Any Given Moment, My Heart At Work, Simmering For Wholeness, A State Of The Unknowing and An Hour Of Unplugging.

This lesson talks about how we let worry, unnecessary worry affect our lives. In particular, this assignment discusses the fear we feel when we think others are assuming we’re bad, stupid, selfish, and all of those other negative aspects we arbor occasionally. I know that I’ve been guilty of letting other people’s opinions influence me. Now that I’m just breaths away for being 60 years old, this type of worry doesn’t seem to be a part of my life anymore.

Image provided by
Joe Zachs @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/joezach/

“Before I was twenty I never worried about what other people thought of me. But after I was twenty I worried endlessly — about all the impressions I made and how people were evaluating me. Only sometime after turning fifty did I realize that they hardly ever thought about me at all.”
— Anthony de Mello, Author of One Minute Wisdom

I chose the first question to answer this time. I thought about answering the one where I’d be describing a time when I let others influence me but my mind is fuzzy on that subject, probably because it was so long ago.

Describe the Glynis Jolly that other people see.

Trying to describe who I am that others see depends on who the ‘other’ is. I’m several people in one depending on the situation and who is there with me.

With authoritative figures, I’m rather docile and can get to the point where I’m a coward. That is, I’m that way if I’m learning something or I believe myself to be in the wrong in some way. If I think the boss is wrong, I will question him or her, very respectfully of course.

I am a fighter for the underdog. If I see someone being treated without dignity, watch out. I’ll come blazing in with my verbal guns shooting off like fireworks. It doesn’t matter who is doing this. They’re going to get more than an earful from me. (I’ve gotten in trouble with in-laws because of this.)

I’m not very sympathetic usually; although I’ve had people tell me that I’m good showing empathy. I know that this is a flaw in my character. There are times when I wish I could feel sorry for someone without really understand what he or she is experiencing, but I just don’t feel it. Now, if I’ve ‘been there and done that’, I can understand the person’s tribulations, can relate it, and even help him or her deal with it better.

Physically, I’m a short stout woman. I’m not in plus sizes yet but if I was to go on a long enough eating binge, I’d be out of the ‘large’ size and heading toward size 1X. This wouldn’t be a big deal if I was taller but at 5’3”, that’s a little too big for me to accept. Yes, I have self-esteem issues but I mask them well when I’m in public. It’s only after a person knows me for a while that he or she begins to realize the underlining of self-doubt I have.

People seem to like me better one on one than when we’re all in a group. This doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m more comfortable with one on one. If you’re wondering how I handle having a blog that can be read by so many, I can tell you this – when I write a post, I’m writing to one person in my head. Each post is more or less a letter to a good friend whose name I keep on forgetting.

This is whom I think people see when they are with me. I’d LOVE to get your opinion on this.

P.S. I’m going to stop doing these email courses for a while. I’ve decided to take up a writing project I left laying dormant for a while. I’ll still be writing posts though. I just feel that the course material needs deadlines that I’d rather use for my project.