Constricted by Circumstances

Constricted by Circumstances
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I met a life coach online a few years ago who struck me as the kind of man who uses his own life experiences to help his clients and blog followers. I’ve never quite needed his individual services but I’ve gotten a great deal out of his blog posts and emails. His name is David Stevens. He focuses his assistance mostly on people from the age of forty on up, which is a group (me included) that are sometimes forgotten in the major stream of life. His suggestions and advice are uplifting and, with me anyway, spark my own ideas on how I can live better and fuller.

David has a weekly newsletter in which he gives out little tidbits for his subscribers to try in their daily lives. Last week his newsletter asked a couple of questions about how a person can feel constricted in life.

In general, I feel constricted in my life by numerous things. I often find myself living by the rules of others.

There’s my disability, which I’m sure most are aware of the limitations this dumps on a person. I can’t go many of the places others enjoy. Indeed, there are places where I may not necessary enjoy but need to be at but can’t accomplish under my own power. I always need help getting there and it’s at the convenience of others, not always when I feel I should be getting to that destination. I’m constricted in other daily activities within my own home too. Yes, sometimes it can get significantly depressing.

I’m a strange conglomeration of introversion and flamboyancy. I prefer physical and mental solitude. I love the quiet with just the rustling of the leaves on the trees outside from a brisk breeze and the scampering of a squirrel trying to get to the other side of my backyard. I can definitely say that I like my own company. At the same time, I do like stimulating conversation with others. Debates, if civil, are exhilarating to me. And there’s nothing like good chitchat over a cup of coffee.

Yet, more often than not, I find myself in a world that doesn’t like either of my general moods. There seems to be so many people in my life that can’t live without constant noise. The TV is on even though no one is watching it. There’s conversations where people repeat themselves just so there isn’t any gap in the noise level in the room. There are people who won’t be quiet just for a minute; their existence must be filled with their relentless chatter. As for stimulating discussions that I like now and again, I end up with people who don’t want to hear about ideas different that their own. There are people in my life who would rather sweep unpleasantries under the rug instead of airing them out and finding solutions.

The first question that might be asked is why I put up with these things. Some of the people I’m referring to about are my loved ones. Do I just dump them because they’re too loud and obnoxious sometimes? To them, I might be appearing to be boring as times. Some people have a hard time psychologically handling any kind of conflict, no matter what the reason is or how it may help in the long run. Do I tell them to stop being so wimpy?

To lessen my entrapment, the one thing I can think to do that isn’t abrasive to anyone is to spent a little less time with my loved ones. This will certainly have a positive response with the introvert I crave to be. For those times when I want to be flamboyant, I’ll have to find a different outlet. Neither one of these solutions is going to remedy the confined feeling all together, but it’s a step in the right direction anyway.

Life isn’t perfect just as we aren’t. 😛



14 Replies to “Constricted by Circumstances”

  1. I know what you mean about people talking just to fill any silence. I’ve lived single a long time and understand the need for solitude. I hope you can carve out enough for yourself to make up for those times when you cannot. ❤ ❤ ❤


    1. I’m trying to get alone time. When Hubby and I went to WalMart the other day, I turned down the isle for the laptops. There’s some for under $300. I’ll have to re-figure how to do the wireless hookup to the Internet if I get one. Anyway, IF I get one, I’ll be able to use the spare bedroom instead of being with Hubby in our ‘computer room’ (the 3rd bedroom). 😛 ❤


      1. I hated my laptop at first but the internet wasn’t good in the alcove in my bedroom. Once I became used to it, I fell in L.o.v.e. and get much better reception on the dining-room table.

        Do you backup your work? In the Cloud or OneDrive? I finally broke down to upload to one of these 1) because it was driving me crazy working on a file on my laptop and then e-mailing to my desktop and getting mixed up and not updating etc. 2) If my computer / laptop crashes, I still have my files.


        1. Believe it or not, I “listened” to you. I haven’t uploaded all of my writing project papers yet but I’m slowly getting it done. I decided to go with One Drive. ❤


  2. We have a lot in common — especially with being aware of the limits of our physical abilities. And I too am a combination of introvert and outgoing … but debates exhaust me. I need a nap after too much interaction!

    Isn’t family complicated? Living so far away from my extended family, I’m glad I don’t have to be a part of their political comments (we are polar opposites). But time with my immediate family — my husband here in Norway, and my adult daughters in the States — leaves me energized and refreshed.

    Thank you for your introspective post; it’s a good way to start a Monday.


    1. Hi Cindi

      I know there are others like me who find it impossible to fit in like a round peg in a round hole. I can’t even say that I’m 6-sized and will fit into that hole. I’m more of the rectangle who has gotten tired of trying to fit in the round hole and have gone to the other side of the wooden board. ❤


  3. I totally get the combo of introvert and flamboyancy. I just wish more people understood the need for quiet. I have to distance myself from my mother for many different reasons, but then again, the distancing is easy because she’s more often than not the one doing the distancing.


    1. My mom is several states away. We talk to each other once a week. That works out well for me. My problem is Hubby. He’s addicted to noise. More than half the time now, I’m getting up sometime during the night to go sleep in the other bedroom all because he thinks he needs the TV on even when he’s asleep. I love him dearly, but sometimes I love him better way over someplace else.


  4. Finding the right balance is our collective quest. There are times when I think my family will drive me mad, but then something shifts and we all survive. It’s never easy and never works the way we expect. Despite those frustrations, there are times when it not only comes together, but we are surprised to discover that the thing we were dreading can be the thing we enjoy the most.


      1. That’s too bad. I guess it becomes a question of endurance and looking outside that circle for for your intellectual stimulation… which is very much what you done with your blog.


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