Constricted by Circumstances

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Antonello @ https://www.flickr.com/photos/antonilic/

I met a life coach online a few years ago who struck me as the kind of man who uses his own life experiences to help his clients and blog followers. I’ve never quite needed his individual services but I’ve gotten a great deal out of his blog posts and emails. His name is David Stevens. He focuses his assistance mostly on people from the age of forty on up, which is a group (me included) that are sometimes forgotten in the major stream of life. His suggestions and advice are uplifting and, with me anyway, spark my own ideas on how I can live better and fuller.

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David has a weekly newsletter in which he gives out little tidbits for his subscribers to try in their daily lives. Last week his newsletter asked a couple of questions about how a person can feel constricted in life.

In general, I feel constricted in my life by numerous things. I often find myself living by the rules of others.

There’s my disability, which I’m sure most are aware of the limitations this dumps on a person. I can’t go many of the places others enjoy. Indeed, there are places where I may not necessary enjoy but need to be at but can’t accomplish under my own power. I always need help getting there and it’s at the convenience of others, not always when I feel I should be getting to that destination. I’m constricted in other daily activities within my own home too. Yes, sometimes it can get significantly depressing.

I’m a strange conglomeration of introversion and flamboyancy. I prefer physical and mental solitude. I love the quiet with just the rustling of the leaves on the trees outside from a brisk breeze and the scampering of a squirrel trying to get to the other side of my backyard. I can definitely say that I like my own company. At the same time, I do like stimulating conversation with others. Debates, if civil, are exhilarating to me. And there’s nothing like good chitchat over a cup of coffee.

Yet, more often than not, I find myself in a world that doesn’t like either of my general moods. There seems to be so many people in my life that can’t live without constant noise. The TV is on even though no one is watching it. There’s conversations where people repeat themselves just so there isn’t any gap in the noise level in the room. There are people who won’t be quiet just for a minute; their existence must be filled with their relentless chatter. As for stimulating discussions that I like now and again, I end up with people who don’t want to hear about ideas different that their own. There are people in my life who would rather sweep unpleasantries under the rug instead of airing them out and finding solutions.

The first question that might be asked is why I put up with these things. Some of the people I’m referring to about are my loved ones. Do I just dump them because they’re too loud and obnoxious sometimes? To them, I might be appearing to be boring as times. Some people have a hard time psychologically handling any kind of conflict, no matter what the reason is or how it may help in the long run. Do I tell them to stop being so wimpy?

To lessen my entrapment, the one thing I can think to do that isn’t abrasive to anyone is to spent a little less time with my loved ones. This will certainly have a positive response with the introvert I crave to be. For those times when I want to be flamboyant, I’ll have to find a different outlet. Neither one of these solutions is going to remedy the confined feeling all together, but it’s a step in the right direction anyway.

Life isn’t perfect just as we aren’t. 😛