Do you like the new look? I kept the theme the same. Right now, it suits me. Chances are quite possible that it will change again when December cold winds hit. Some say I can be fickle. If you go by my blog, you’d probably agree. Are you asking yourself, “Why can’t she stick to one theme and color scheme?” Truth be told, I’ve fascinated with design and color. I do the same within my home as much as I can. No, I don’t have changes of furniture. (Can you imagine how expensive that would be?) I do, however, will change throw pillows, towel sets, sheet sets, knickknacks, etc. to different designs and colors. Does this say I’m fickle? Maybe. Or could it mean that I’m flexible?
I used to be tentative with my writing. I could start out with guns blazing, yet fizzle somewhere before I would get through a third of whatever venture I was working on. Yes, I know, many writers go through this. However, when I would fizzle out, I’d start a new project that had absolutely nothing to do with writing. Sounds kind of erratic, doesn’t it? Just last week I was watching a show about John Lennon. They said that he was constantly reinventing himself all during his life; unpredictable is putting it mildly. I’ve been that way myself at certain times in my life.
A few years ago, I had this “brilliant” idea about starting a blog about disability with the secondary subject about blogging. (You did notice the quotation marks for the word brilliant, didn’t you?) I even went so far as to get a domain and write a short e-book about a situation I went through concerning my own disability. I had hopes of doing the same kind of e-book about blogging. As soon as I ran into problems with the blog itself that I couldn’t solve without a lot of help, I fizzled. Though the idea about having a blog about disability was good, my notions of combining that with posts about blogging was preposterous. Do you know how many blogs are out here in cyber space that are about blogging? I don’t know myself but there’s over 800,000,000 articles about it. And what do I know about the subject compared to a site like ProBlogger that’s been online for many years? I couldn’t even solve the problems I was having with my own blog. Talk about the blind leading the blind. Needless to say, the blog doesn’t exist any longer.
In spite of my precariousness, I still love to write, always have. By the time I was eight years old, I had a pen pal who I wrote to faithfully for four years. Deborah lived in English somewhere. The name of the town has been lost in the files of my memory though. I do know, however, that it wasn’t London, Sheffield, or any of the other cities or large towns. I remember her telling me that it was just a small burg. We did get sporadic and soon after just stopped writing to each other. This happens with kids as they try to find themselves. Yet, I didn’t stop writing.
I switched over to writing poems for a while. I haven’t written a poem for over thirty years now. In addition, I don’t have the slightest desire to express myself with one. I think it might have something to do with the abstraction of what is being said in a poem that keeps me away. I’ve become a stickler for wanting people to understand exactly what I’m trying to convey.
What does all of this boil down to?
I’m wondering if I’m indecisive or adaptable. I’m sixty years old now, so I think it may be time to define myself to some extent. Of course, I want to say I’m adaptable. It’s a positive term, after all. But it could very well be that the truth is that I’m indecisive. Yes, I know this is something I should figure out for myself, but I would like some other opinions to base my answer on.
I turn to you for assessments.
Do you think I’m indecisive or adaptable? Is there any particular reason you think one way or the other?