Bickering with Writing

Bickering with Writing

I’m told that anyone who has a passion for writing goes through periods of confusion, hatred, utter disappointment, focused depression, and the list of negatives goes on and on. I’ve been going through this since before Christmas.

Everyday at approximately 6pm, I sit at my computer desk trying my damnedest to keep writing on my writing project, what I now call my novel project. I struggle with words, phrases, and sentences until 8:30. The way I figured, all I had to do was keep plodding along and something in me would jiggle loose. The words would start flowing as they had with my first page.

Did it happen for me? Well–no, but if I hadn’t pushed myself for almost two months, I don’t think I’d have ever seen any light in my passion again. All during this distressing time, the concept that writing is hard work never left my thoughts; and there’s no getting around it either. Still, by the time New Year’s Day had come and gone, I was feeling some serious doubts about my capabilities.

It was about that same time a friend blogger, Cat started giving me moral support. At first I thought he was just being a friend and trying to boost my spirits. By the third post I had written since the first of the year, his uplifting comments began to sink in as being sincere. I’ve never quite believed in compliments before. This isn’t to say that I don’t like myself. I do–but I also believe that I’m not any better than anyone else. Additionally, although I have talents, they aren’t the kind that will make me stand out. Now I wonder if I could stand out eventually as long as I keep on pushing forward.

I’m still bickering with my writing as I head toward the end of February. Some of this is due to habits that have been ingrained in me since childhood. I am having a terrible time looking beyond misspelled words when writing a draft. This slows down my progress to a snail’s pace. Somehow I have to get out of this habit and just keep on writing (typing). Using Word, Docs, LiveWriter, or whatever other writing software, the mistakes are going to be underlined. I’m not going to miss or forget them if I jump over them during the drafting. There isn’t any reason to have this habit of correcting every word as it’s mistakenly typed when using a computer. Sure, some errors will still be missed, but with diligence, I’ll find and correct them–later.

A couple of things I didn’t dream would affect my approach to writing is personal complications and health.

My husband wasn’t working for three weeks, part of January and part of this month. We do have some savings and he has a small military pension, but I knew we couldn’t live on that for very long. I was handling it okay. I was able to continue to keep my anxiety level relatively low. I had a little problem sleeping but it wasn’t major. He’s been back to work for a week now and seems to be doing well at his job. I no long need Tylenol PM to get to sleep now. It did affect my writing, which I didn’t recognize until after the fact. My focus and motivation are elevated from what they were before as well.

The stomach issues I’ve had for over a month now haven’t been causing a lot of pain. Still, I guess enough underlying pain or ache does affect how I do some things, and unfortunately, this includes writing. It does distract me. Just think how much better my writing will be once this trouble is taken care of.

§

My message to you–If you’re a writer, do not give up. Find a way to muddle through the difficulties. And let someone be nice to you.

 

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25 Replies to “Bickering with Writing”

  1. I think the real value of blogging and connecting on social media is to get the support we need. I think every writer goes through those times of insecurity and doubt. Then add financial concerns and it’s no wonder you’re having stomach problems. I really hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.

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  2. Hi Glynis, that is so sweet of you to mention. I had no idea my comments were helping you through this. Thank you for your acknowledgement 😉

    I know all about the snail pace first drafts. It slows my blog down to only one post a week! But, there’s something I enjoy about pondering over it, it helps me think about the direction I’m heading.

    When we’re going through a sticky patch with writing, I agree it’s important to plod on. If we become discouraged and move away from our commitment, it can be difficult to find the confidence to return.

    I’m sure you’ll feel better once everything is running smoothly at home again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ” If we become discouraged and move away from our commitment, it can be difficult to find the confidence to return.”
      This is exactly why I won’t stop. I’m notorious for starting out great at the gate and this giving up before the finish line is crossed. I care too much about this endeavor. I will not let myself give up.

      Now that Hubby is into his 2nd week and has said he likes a lot of his co-workers, I can now set up a new schedule for writing. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Susan. This rough spot is taught me somethings about myself so it’s far from being just a struggle. I thought I might have lost my talent of perseverance, but I guess I still have it, which is a nice surprise. It has taught me that I really do have passion in my soul, which was something I wasn’t sure I had. In other words, the silver lining for this dark cloud seems to have a lot of luster to it. 😛

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  3. If it will ease your mind at all, sometimes even commenting on blogs is almost impossible. The words are stuck and I can’t write a proper sentence. My mind sits in neutral until I prod and struggle to get it in gear again.

    I agree worries, having to juggle to many things, or even dissatisfaction of any kind just as being overtired brings our brains to a grinding stop. Maybe your’re pushing yourself too hard? Go read something light and give your brain a rest. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tess, I guess it was in my upbringing. I was always being told to try a little harder. I didn’t always do that, of course. If I wasn’t interested in the task, whatever it was, I’d walk away. That’s probably why I only got a C in Biology. I can’t give this up. For the first time in a long time, I feel passionate about an endeavor. Besides, if I give my brain a rest, it may never wake up again. I can’t have that going on. 🙂

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        1. I’m pretty much charged up to keep on trudging along. I think part of my problem is that I have zero patients. I want to rip through this 1st draft, which is something that doesn’t happen unless you’re Stephen King.

          Thanks for the warn fuzzies. ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  4. It is a struggle at times. I’ve written three books–none published and have decided to finish them and move on. That, I believe is the slogging part. I’d love to write what I want, but I must finish what I started. So far, it’s working. So–keep it up! I like what Cat says–if we leave during those sticky periods, it’s difficult to return with confidence.

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  5. I feel your pain. I make it a point to set about half an hour to an hour a day to write at least 500 words on anything, and make it a point for this writing to be separate from any article, book or blog post I’m working on. I’ll write anything that comes to mind – like what I thought of that happened today, or what I saw happening today and my opinions on it. It’s a struggle because like you, I can’t stand grammatical or spelling errors and go a bit skitz when I realise that it’s not all perfect…I’m a bit OCD a lot of the time.

    What wise words in your last paragraph. Plod on. I don’t want to know how I feel if I leave writing or don’t commit to it. Probably ashamed, like I’ve given up. And I don’t want to feel those feelings given that I love writing so much.

    Good luck with things on the home front. Glad to hear you are sleeping better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the support, Mabel. I should be writing in my personal journal every day, which I’m not doing so far. I’m sure it would help get the junk out of my brain that it hindering the flow I want when I’m working on my novel project.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m not a writer, but I enjoy sharing here in the blogosphere. I’ve had a couple months of “blah” also, but know it’s not with the same reality that you’re working to overcome. I’m glad you’re finding support from your followers, and count myself fortunate to be one of them who benefits from (and enjoys reading) your thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindi, what a wonderful compliment. I’m stunned. Are the winter days in Norway getting to you? For the 1st time in five years, there is snow on the ground here that has lasted more than a day. I’m ecstatic about it seeing that I’m originally from Colorado.

      Are you playing professionally? I remember you saying something about giving lesson too but the memory is muddled.

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  7. What an encouraging post, Glynis! I am not a writer. I blog as a hobby and to get into the habit of writing. There are times when I also struggle with what to write, so I can only imagine your bickering with your writing as you sit at your computer to work on your novel.
    Best wishes with your health. I’m glad that your hubby got a job and things are getting better. Have a great week!

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    1. In my opinion, you are a writer, just not a published one. Writing is a skill that only a few really enjoy and feel passionate enough about to make it a regular part of their lives. For others, it’s photography, painting, reading, and the list goes on.

      Thank you for the warm fuzzies. 🙂

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  8. I can relate to this. I haven’t been feeling well thanks to the flu, and blogging has seemed, lately, overwhelming and interfering with my available time to write. All this has just put me into a pit of emotional quicksand lately. I am now feeling better, and I’ve got to concentrate less on blogging and get back to basics – the writing!

    Good luck, dear Glynis, with getting your mojo back – and I hope you and your husband soon feel better. 🙂

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    1. Hubby is feeling better and is even doing overtime at work. Although my digestive problems still plague me a little, I am beginning to enjoy my writing again. Thank you for the good wishes, Kate. 🙂

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  9. You’re right, Glynis, if you keep sitting down and working at your writing through the tough times, it will come, and it’ll feel all the better for knowing you didn’t give up.
    Been there, done that!

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    1. I think all writers have been through it. It’s the stubborn ones who get published, if not sooner, then later. Whenever I get to super rough places in my writing, I think of how long it took Stephen King to get published. I’m sure he’s gone through all of this too.

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  10. One foot in front of the other Glynis. Sometimes finding the time and then finding the words is difficult but you have proved that you can keep going through the testing times again and again. You’ve got this!

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