I’m taking a one-post break from writing stories. I want to work on developing better endings that aren’t so abrupt and are more complete. Some writers are geniuses with this sort of thing. I’m not one of them, obviously.
Before I looked up the word, I thought melancholy meant sadness or depression, which it does. However, it can also mean sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness. If you’re uncertain about the word pensiveness, it means dreamily or wistfully thoughtful. Of course, with both of these words, there’s other meaning too, but these are the definitions I want to discuss in this post.
The first time I remember hearing the word, melancholy, was when I saw the movie, Paint Your Wagon in the theater. That was in 1969. I wasn’t quite 15 yet. In the movie, Lee Marvin goes through a bout of melancholy, which is the type I thought was the only meaning of the word. I didn’t question the definition until I started dabbling in writing poems a few years later. I was going to use that very word, but began to question using a noun as a verb. Of course, the noun wasn’t going to work. That’s when I found the word, pensive, which fit in beautiful. What was the poem? I don’t remember and I have very little in the way of mementos from back then so I can’t just pull it out from the closet where all the junk is.
What got me thinking about these words and the means I’ve picked from the dictionary was the typical April weather that is in my area. Yes, rain, rain, and more rain. This kind of weather can put a person in the emotional dumps. Per contra, it doesn’t do it with me. Instead, I find myself making plans that I’ve avoided before, and going through marvelous “what-ifs” that have a possible future in my life.
This means melancholy too. Who would have thought — right?
I love that laid back feeling when I’m in that dreamy state. It’s peaceful, yet at the same time, inspirational. It has a weird ability to get my motivation going for whatever it is that I’m thinking about at the time, whether it be writing, chores, relationships, or as I’ve already said, whatever.
This realization about melancholy got me thinking about the different moods I have. Do I really have all that big of a problem with depression as a side effect of the General Anxiety Disorder? Or is it that I immerse myself in melancholy? If the latter is what is happening, this is more likely to be a good thing for me. It’s a time when I am organizing the files in my head. It’s a time when I am in the first stage of forming goals to achieve. This sure doesn’t sound like a problem with depression to me.
Inner reflection is a good thing in my opinion. Those who indulge in it regularly seem to like themselves better than the ones who don’t get into this exercise.
What are your thoughts on this?