Perfectionism is a vice. Many try to camouflage it by using a different word or phase to describe it. For instance: particular, precise, wanting thing the way I want them, and even calling it a virtue. What perfectionism really boils down to is refusing to accept the messiness of life. Of course, this is a ludicrous thing to do because life is one of those things that isn’t going to change no matter how much you may want it to.
What’s infuriating about this personality trait is it’s near impossible to get rid of because it is a trait and not just a habit. Those of us who have it weren’t told not to be that way as kids. In fact, it was smiled upon. Who doesn’t want their children to come home from school with all A’s? We get sucked right up into believing it’s a virtue. We’ve been praised for it at our jobs once we’re adults being caught up in the notion that life will be so much better if we can achieve perfection in everything.
The thing is, life is already perfect, has been that way all along. It’s us humans who have screwed it up, and not just by nasty habits. How many of us really and truly take life as it comes? I would guess that the number is less that one in a million. All though it’s agonizing for me to admit, I’m definitely in the majority. I want life to be the want I want it.
Undoubtedly, I’m not going to get what I want, no matter what I do or how hard I try. I’m trying to change this trait in me. At my age, it’s high time I let it go. Moreover, it’s making my life more miserable than it has to be.
Growing up with neat freaks has put me at a disadvantage now that I’m a ‘senior’. As a young adult, I got myself believing the rest of the world would change in time. After all, we’re all watching TV. The commercials show sparkling clean houses with the only thing missing is the right dishwasher soap or the right fabric softener. Surely everyone is getting some brainwashing and will have their houses looking as good as they do on TV eventually, right? Wrong!
Hubby thinks our home looks just fine with the stack of… whatever it is on the printer in the ‘computer room’ (actually the smallest bedroom). He thinks the perfect place to leave the mail is on the kitchen counter where some sort of liquid or food could be dump on it. And there’s a whole list of other things that are similar in nature that goes on in my house.
I must learn to let Hubby be who he is, but let me tell you, this is a hard lesson to learn. Of course, by the same token, don’t you think he should learn to let me be who I am too?
Anyway, I guess I’m back. The personal issues are still here causing havoc, but I’m figuring out how to get around them. The weekly recap post is going bye-bye. Having that small bit of pressure hanging over me was not, in any way, shape, or form a good thing. I am still writing my first novel. I’ve gotten past the 60,000 mark. I’m still doing the tap dance between outlining and just going by the seat of my pants.
I hope all of you who live in the northern hemisphere are enjoying your summer. You have a little over one month left. I hope those of you who live south of the equator are getting all hyped up for your Spring, which is just around the corner.
Life is painful and disappointing. It is useless, therefore, to write new realistic novels. We generally know where we stand in relation to reality and don’t care to know any more. — Michel Houellebecq