One’s Lot in Life

One's Lot in Life
Image provided by
Brian Del Vecchio
@ https://www.flickr.com/photos/hybernaut/

Perfectionism is a vice. Many try to camouflage it by using a different word or phase to describe it. For instance: particular, precise, wanting thing the way I want them, and even calling it a virtue. What perfectionism really boils down to is refusing to accept the messiness of life. Of course, this is a ludicrous thing to do because life is one of those things that isn’t going to change no matter how much you may want it to.

What’s infuriating about this personality trait is it’s near impossible to get rid of because it is a trait and not just a habit. Those of us who have it weren’t told not to be that way as kids. In fact, it was smiled upon. Who doesn’t want their children to come home from school with all A’s? We get sucked right up into believing it’s a virtue. We’ve been praised for it at our jobs once we’re adults being caught up in the notion that life will be so much better if we can achieve perfection in everything.

The thing is, life is already perfect, has been that way all along. It’s us humans who have screwed it up, and not just by nasty habits. How many of us really and truly take life as it comes? I would guess that the number is less that one in a million. All though it’s agonizing for me to admit, I’m definitely in the majority. I want life to be the want I want it.

Undoubtedly, I’m not going to get what I want, no matter what I do or how hard I try. I’m trying to change this trait in me. At my age, it’s high time I let it go. Moreover, it’s making my life more miserable than it has to be.

Growing up with neat freaks has put me at a disadvantage now that I’m a ‘senior’. As a young adult, I got myself believing the rest of the world would change in time. After all, we’re all watching TV. The commercials show sparkling clean houses with the only thing missing is the right dishwasher soap or the right fabric softener. Surely everyone is getting some brainwashing and will have their houses looking as good as they do on TV eventually, right? Wrong!

Hubby thinks our home looks just fine with the stack of… whatever it is on the printer in the ‘computer room’ (actually the smallest bedroom). He thinks the perfect place to leave the mail is on the kitchen counter where some sort of liquid or food could be dump on it. And there’s a whole list of other things that are similar in nature that goes on in my house.

I must learn to let Hubby be who he is, but let me tell you, this is a hard lesson to learn. Of course, by the same token, don’t you think he should learn to let me be who I am too?

Anyway, I guess I’m back. The personal issues are still here causing havoc, but I’m figuring out how to get around them. The weekly recap post is going bye-bye. Having that small bit of pressure hanging over me was not, in any way, shape, or form a good thing. I am still writing my first novel. I’ve gotten past the 60,000 mark. I’m still doing the tap dance between outlining and just going by the seat of my pants.

I hope all of you who live in the northern hemisphere are enjoying your summer. You have a little over one month left. I hope those of you who live south of the equator are getting all hyped up for your Spring, which is just around the corner.

Life is painful and disappointing. It is useless, therefore, to write new realistic novels. We generally know where we stand in relation to reality and don’t care to know any more.  — Michel Houellebecq

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18 Replies to “One’s Lot in Life”

    1. When I still had Dusty, my first cat, my son and I would put the stick-on bows from Christmas presents all over her. She’d fight it for a short time, then plop down resigned to our fun.

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  1. Ahhh, perfectionism. It’s a double edge sword. I am a perfectionist. On one hand it drives me to go that extra step to get something done the way I want it…but you’re right. Most of the time we can’t control the world and perhaps we are better off taking life as if comes along. Sometimes we really just can’t win and settling for second best might be the best option.

    I am certainly hyped up for Spring! 🙂

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      1. MIssouri is a distant happening. Still working on the house when we save enough money for a trip there. We still have a kid in and out of the house while he’s still in college. So…for now, our Missouri house is a shell but full of dreams of the future.

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        1. I, obviously, misunderstood. I thought you were spending time in Missouri in between storms of revamping your home in Georgia. Enjoy all the access to shopping while you have it. It’ll probably be different once you move.

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          1. Yes, we are doing both, but this house is cosmetic stuff like removing dog slobber. We did finish the shower! Next big project is to prettify the deck. One day we will make it to Missouri to live….for now we’ll have to settle for working vacations. 🙂

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  2. Glad to see you back–and I will miss your weekly recap. I liked that peek into your world.

    I have the same husband problem: He likes putting the mail on the sink, within reach of liquids and drips. Worse, he puts his leather manpurse there. Women would never do that!

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    1. Jacqui, you’ve made me feel better. I was beginning to think there couldn’t be good men with this terrible habit except for me.

      As for a peek into my world, I’ll still be doing that on occasion, just not on a schedule.

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  3. I like things clean and tidy, Glynis, although I’m not perfect. I don’t know how I would cope if someone I was living with wasn’t the same way…mmmm… it’s hard to accept each other’s little ways. Talking of clean houses, I couldn’t help notice in your image, the dirt underneath the furniture is disgraceful….lol… I hope it’s not your house or I’ll be mortified for opening my fat mouth. 🙂 Actually, I know it’s not your house because I’ve seen pics before and it was immaculate 🙄

    In all honesty, I could feel your tension in the recaps, it was obvious to me that you weren’t enjoying them.

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    1. I got my icon for Mike Liche at Flickr. My abstract from my blog was done by him too. When I look at my icon, I imagine a woman taking her break in a pub. Obviously, the pub could not be in London, or maybe it could be. You’d know better than me. 😛

      Yes, I was feeling tension trying to keep myself on the straight and narrow with my WiP and blogging. I used to be so efficient as long as I had a schedule. I thought I could just jump right back into it. NOPE! I do better now letting my self imposed ridicule and inspiration guide me.

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      1. I didn’t mean the icon but the image you used at the top of your post.

        I prefer to write as and when I can get something together

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        1. That’s Mike’s abstract you’re talking about then.

          I’m going to be doing the blog thing like you’re doing from now on. As much as I’m obsessed with schedules, routines, and organization, the whole thing was beginning to feel like a job, which is definitely not the intention. This is suppose to be a personal blog of a writer.

          And with that said, I may just change the design of this blog again because I just love doing it. O_o

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