As a “want-a-be” writer, I don’t have the luxury of reflecting about the novels I’ve written to get me out of a slump. This is fact and has nothing to do with the emotionally tart shaft I find myself in.
True, I probably shouldn’t call myself a “want-a-be” because, after all, I do scribble in this blog that is societal throughout WP and beyond. Nonetheless, most of what I write here doesn’t come into the category of “fiction” or “story”. (Notice I said most as opposed to all.)
Could it be the dreaded “Bah Humbugs” of the holiday season? This is a possibility. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I’d find myself wishing, pleading for the winter holidays to be over. The financial burden of this time of year has become phenomenal. I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this crunch. The days of prosperity are long gone and it’s high time–past time– to realize it and find a way to accept it because it isn’t changing anytime soon.
If my problem is the mopes, I’m unseemly aware that I’m the only one who can turn my mood around. Now to decide how I’ll accomplish this is a baffling endeavor. What will inspire me to lift my own spirits and, thus, give me inspiration?
The kids are gone and on their own. It’s been this way for a while now. As the years have passed, the holiday decorations, one by one, have been left in their boxes. The house environment looks the same as it would any other time of year. The one decoration that still gets brought out is the wreath. Is that because I want people to consider that I might be receptive to any good cheer they have to offer?
This lack of eagerness for something I’ve loved so dearly in the past could be triggered by what I see outside the window next to my desk. Most days are cloudy, and sometimes the rain is pouring down relentlessly. The trees and bushes are leafless. The dispassion within the atmosphere is almost foreboding. Yet how can this scenario be uninspiring? If you like the dark and dramatic, which I do, what I’m seeing should be contributing to my creativity.
This lack of yearning to write what I most desire could be just that I’m not giving the suggestions I’ve received the chance to ferment into the juices that could flow from me–maybe. I have always felt different from others; and experiences in my life have given me the proof of this. Through the years I’ve become altogether comfortable with it. This means I go my own way, ignoring advice, suggestions, and concerns given by people in my life. I’m obstinate. Pure and simple.
Maybe it’s time for me to get out of this unyielding mode and take some of the suggestions I’ve read from different sources. Or maybe I’ll just ride this out and see what evolves.
It isn’t all that surprising a person would find inspiration misplaced or even altogether gone this time of year. Just in remembering this, the millstone becomes a little lighter to carry.
Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with. ~ Robert Frost