Do I Give Up?

Image provided by Temari 09 https://www.flickr.com/photos/34053291@N05/
Image provided by Temari 09
https://www.flickr.com/photos/34053291@N05/

I had been so satisfied with the progress I was making on my WiP earlier this last year. My attitude about my first draft was prudent, taking into account that many words, phrases, sentences, paragraphs, and scenes would be amended in a later version.

Just getting into my second draft in September, the enthusiasm was spurring me forward. It was glorious until I lost my first draft. It, undeniably, was my own doing. I didn’t do it intentionally, purely by accident. Nevertheless, the abominable deed was done. (If you’re curious, you can read about the incident here.)

This event happened the first part of last October. By chance—or maybe it was an unwitting action—I did save all my notes and working summaries on the project. I continued to labor over my “second’ draft” until the middle of November. Most of that time, the work was taxing and exhausting. The holiday season was just around the corner and I knew my motivation and plain capability would wane even more. I shelved my project in defeat.

I haven’t brought it out again yet, and it may never see my computer screen again. The characters are flat—filmy flat—and the storyline is weak. Albeit, every once in a while I mull over the inkling of using those notes and summaries to generate a new version of the story. Mind you, I just think about it, never getting close to the notion of going through with it. Yet, I’ve started to work on another story I’ve had rolling around in my head. I’m not going at it fast and feverous though. I’m approaching it with leisureliness, hoping to feel a deeper rapport with the story as a whole.

Does this mean I quit, that I give up? It’s an equivocal question for me at the moment. When I was young, I was enthralled with writing, much the same as I am now, except my inclination wasn’t with fiction. During those years I was more likely to be seen writing an essay of some depiction. I, evidently, felt I had opinions worth bestowing—on who I can’t fathom right now. If you ask Tess, my friend at How the Cookie Crumbles, she’d probably tell you that I do have a little aptitude in the writing category of essays. She had written an email to me earlier this past year, telling me about her allurement to most of my blog posts displaying my perception of whatever was the chosen subject.

Maybe I should take some time to explore this writing avenue more carefully. Yes? No? Perhaps? Would this imply that I’m quitting because I’m not seeing my project through to the end and, instead, changing my focus of the craft?

Different people have been telling me to persevere during my entire life. Yet, during these sixty plus years, I’ve found that some things aren’t worthy of  that undying persistence. There are situations in life, which absolving is the sensible course of action. Not everything is deserving of that endless fight.

Is this one of those times to abandon and move on? Or am I cutting the ties too soon?

§

Dear Reader, I’m not asking for your advice on this matter. I’m just sending this out into the infinite space of our being to give all of it a chance to breathe. Even as I write this, I’m inclined to make my decision.

Do you give up?

Choice of attention … is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases, a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences, whatever they may be. – W. H. Auden

 

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17 Replies to “Do I Give Up?”

      1. I worked too hard on my books to give up – I’m going to pursue getting published until I am.
        If you believe in your books, take a break but not an abandonment. Nothing worth anything is easy and the easy stuff is usually not memorable. Best to you in 2016, Glynis. I look forward to you being published.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Being published is one of my intents. This is why I want to try doing essays. Granted, my avenue will possibly be limited to literary magazines, and, by chance, literary books specifically for essays, I do think my likelihood of one of my pieces being accepted for publishing may be better. With a few essays in print, my self-confidence and my prospects for getting a book published are bound to improve.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe that’s what I’ve done, change direction. Or maybe I’ve just taken a long detour. It’s strange how, when I was younger, I felt this constant push to get things done. I do still want to get things done, but not with some many situations and have felt more inclined to take the scenic route to the finish with the ones I choose. Is this an ‘old age’ affliction? (You may answer if you want 😛 )

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for the permission. Old age has to have some benefits. One of them might be the ability to reassess goals in light of our experience. Detours might be interesting. As I mentioned in my recent post (with the bridge in the fog) I’ve lived here for over 30 years and never knew I could drive to the point where I took that picture. It isn’t the fastest route. Not a direct route but I love that photo. I’m convinced that I’ll make progress even if what I accomplish wasn’t originally a goal.

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  1. When I get to this point in a creative project, I put it aside and try not to think about it. Sometimes I abandon the project if it no longer pleases me. It sounds like you write because you enjoy it and maybe you’re project was taking the joy away. Maybe you’re ready for a new story to be told? Just my advice that isn’t necessary 😛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, April, the joy was most assuredly vanishing from that project. Perhaps I’ll rip it apart, take what I like to form a new story, and throw the rest away.

      Thank you for the fresh perception on a predicament I’ve been wrestling with for months now. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Linda, as of today, January 1st, my impulse is to do both a project and the essays. Pertaining to a project: it’ll be a new one; maybe using ideas from the prior project, or maybe starting one fresh. Regarding the essays: this is something I need to rejuvenate some of my knowledge about; it’s been a while since I’ve approach this type of writing seriously. I can say I’m keen on the possibilities of both.

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  2. I have no idea what I’d do if I lost my entire WIP. Take up gardening? How does one recover from that? It is a debilitating fear and the reason I back everything up at least four times and still don’t feel safe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jacqui, I had the WiP on OneDrive. Beyond doubt, it was safe; that is if I hadn’t mistakenly deleted it with my own little click of the mouse. I’m resigned to hope that the powers of the universe were pushing me to get rid of it and either try again or try something new. I have a few other story idea jotted down and tucked away in a folder on my OneDrive if I’m inclined to go that route again. And I know I will, just don’t know when it will be.

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  3. You’re not giving up, you’re just changing the perspective of your writing, but you’re still writing 😉 Sometimes, we need to leave some projects rest/breathe for a while… and if you have a knack for essays, then go for it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There’s a very good chance your characters will help you make and decision.If you’ve breathed life into them they won’t want to be given up on and will nag you to keep going. If they’re happy to fade into nothingness despite your hard work you ‘ll be able to let go. It’s just possible that your little accident is the opportunity you need to put it back on the computer and round the story and the characters out a bit.
    Good luck whatever your decision.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

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    1. I was thinking along the same lines, David. I still like the general brain-child of the story despite it being months since the draft deleted. A change to rediscover the details of it should be interesting.

      Thank you for the moral support. It’s always appreciated.

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