Have you ever found yourself feeling so out of sync with the world that you entertain the thought “you’ve lost yourself”? I thought I had periods like that in my past, especially right after I had the stroke.
However, what I was actually experiencing was being too much inside myself to have a normal perception of my world. Chances are this is similar to what you’ve experienced.
The other day I read an article at the website, Aeon, titled “When the self slips”, making me realize I’ve never lost myself at all, although there’s about 2% of the population who have. They have experienced a phenomenon in which they become an observer of their day-to-day activities. It’s kind of like the “out of body experience”, you briefly die but you continue to function in life.
As a writer who enjoys penned dark drama, this sort of event piqued my interest. What if I had a character with this problem? A problem where he/she had depersonalization disorder (DPD) and was always seeing his/her life in 3rd person? It would make for interesting drama, that’s for sure.
I would think this disorder would be so frustrating and distressful that it could cause a person to end up being psychotic. Though, according to Anna Ciaunica, the author of this article, people with this diagnosis are able to function in their daily lives. In fact, they crave interaction with others in their attempt to feel connected to the world and themselves.
I’m astounded by the fortitude these people suffering from this condition possess. I don’t think I could be the mouse in the corner in my own life feeling like I’m only observing what is going on with someone else who is actually me. I’m pretty sure I’d lose my mind.
The article is fascinating to say the least, although I had to read it several times to grasp all the complicity of this subject. Even with that, I sit here in a small amount of perplexity.