What Have I Been Doing?

This last month was chalked full of appointments. Some were of a medical nature while others were dental. What’s the difference? Actually, as far as I can tell, there isn’t any difference between the two. Both types of doctors provide services that keep us healthy or, hopefully, restore health to us. It’s just done in different ways.

I wonder if my doctor and dentist cringe when they see my car pulling into their parking lots. I seem to never visit them without bringing them a problem or two. Yet, they greet me with a smile, a handshake, and a sincere “How are you?”. Yes, they want my money. That I’m sure of but they seem to really have a concern for me as if I was a personal friend. Am I deluding myself? Chances are I am. Next month isn’t going to be much different either. Still, all in all, I’m feeling better these days and I owe the feeling to these two guys. I get a short break from these appointments that will last until May 15^th. I hope I don’t end up adding woes to the list. I’m also hoping June will be even better—like no appointments at all?!

Because of all of these appointments, there were days when I didn’t write. Sure, I probably could have squeezed in a twenty to thirty-minute session on those days but, to tell the truth, I really didn’t feel much like writing. In fact, my time at the computer dropped and I preferred spending numerous hours reading. I’m not a fast reader. Due to astigmatism and learning to read by phonics, my speed is embarrassingly slow. I refuse to rush myself though because comprehension is my number one priority. If you like thrillers, be sure to check out Dean Koontz’s novels. So far, I have only found one I was disappointed in, The Vision. During the entire time I was reading this book, I wondered if Koontz was being pressed to finish it. The story could have been so much more than it was.

When I did venture to the computer, I found myself browsing through the timeline of Twitter. I’ve seldom done this in the past because I usually consider what I find to be dribble. Most of the people I follow on the media site are writers and I hope to learn from them, or, at least, get some relative news. However, many of them as just giving out prattle. Of course, maybe they think what I give out is just as bad. Is it possible that I’m not understanding the point of media sites? It’s all right; you can be honest with me.

More about my writing, seeing that I claim it’s my passion: During these last couple of weeks, it’s been more like my exasperation. It’s there in my head and yet I seem not to be able to get it down to my fingers so it will appear on the screen in front of me. I know what I want the ending to be, the last three or four chapters, but I’m having a hellish time with everything before that, starting with chapter three. I’ve even sought help at the online writing group I belong to in hopes of getting some direction, or at least some encouragement. My fellow members tried. They reviewed the two chapters I’ve written, giving me detailed feedback and have given me comments at the two message boards I use so frequently. Still, the anguish of bewilderment clings to me. I know writers go through this agony once in a while. It’s just so disheartening. From what I’ve been told, this type of mental aggravation does eventually pass. However, I’m not a patient person. Most Virgos aren’t.

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Have any of you been having more issues lately?

“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” 
― George Harrison