Expectations and Boredom

Thinking back on this past May when the northern hemisphere was enthusiastic with life, color, fresh warm air, and everything else spring had to offer, I remember how jubilant I felt about my writing. Yet, at first, during those days, I was wrestling with how to go about the process of writing.

Being on a fixed income isn’t fun, which I’m quite sure most of you can empathize with. The number of people not struggling with finances these days is small, indeed. It would be marvelous if I had the money to buy the Scrivener software program but I’m certain it will never happen. And, who’s to say I absolutely needed the program anyway?

I found another software program that seems to work well for me and, of course, is free. No, it isn’t yWriter, which I would say is a good program. This new one is called SmartEdit Writer. I’ve switched to it for the reason that I can have my manuscript open while also having notes and images open at the same time and see all of it. I don’t have to switch tabs as often anymore—an ugly distraction for me. I know some writers who use two computers to solve the problem of “seeing it all”. This program alleviates that dilemma.

With this new software on my screen, I thought my summer days would be full of creativity and productivity. And, for the most part, I have gotten a fair amount of writing in despite the disruptions of my husband’s chatter, the obnoxious phone calls [maybe at some point I’ll write about these], and the alleged needs of three certain cats.

Still and all, the last couple of weeks have been rather grueling writing-wise. The expected momentum when I bring up the software program and begin to type has been dwindling. My motivation seems to be fragile now. The writing sessions are becoming more tedious and my productivity is waning.

I have found myself gazing out the window speculating on when the season is going to change. There was a time, far back in my past when nothing but summer was in my thoughts. I could always find something interesting to do during those days of brilliant sunshine and glorious nights. I guess I’m not that person anymore. Although the writing has been good for the last three months, I do wonder now if it was because of the season or if it was something else, maybe my own determination to do something about that first draft I did five years ago.

If it’s the latter, what’s with me feeling impassive now? It could be that characters not connected to this WiP are flitting around in my head along with settings that would never fit into the current draft I’m working on. It is nice to know that I have another story idea buzzing in my head though.

Secondly, my digestive system is still a plight, though not as often or as severe. I haven’t written about this since February. I live with new norms now. All part of getting older, I guess.

---

I probably should be grateful this respite isn’t writer’s block. So far [knock on wood] I haven’t had a big bout of that. Maybe what I need is a day trip. You know, doing something else that won’t allow for any feelings of guilt, boredom, or anxiety. 😉

Do you ever go through phases like this?

“I really think I write about everyday life. I don’t think I’m quite as odd as others say I am. Life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that’s what makes it so boring.” 
― Edward Gorey