Sending Out the Wrong Vibes

Sending Out the Wrong Vibes
Image provided by rikdom
https://www.flickr.com/photos/rikdom/

I guess I’m not paying adequate attention to the impression I throw out to people. I’m not sure when the inappropriate signals started spurting out from me though. It might have begun over twenty-five years ago. Or it could have been as little as eight years ago. One thing is for sure though. I’ve gotten to the point where I try to avoid as much face-to-face time with all as much as I possibly can.

And what are these wrong vibes?

Somehow, most people are thinking than I don’t know very much at all. They are assuming they know more than me and better than me about almost any subject, even the ones that are dearest to me. They surmise that my knowledge is outdated, faulty, or doesn’t apply to the situation. And they do all of this without asking me a single question or listening to what I have to say on the subject in its entirety. They make their assessment on limited information that may not be right and without any regard for what I may know.

I’m absolutely sure there are people out there, somewhere on this planet, who will respect me enough to hear me out to the end. However, I don’t seem to attract those type of people, at least not away from the internet. Instead, I seem to be drawing in  a fair number of people who are self-serving, some to the point of being narcissistic.

I try, tactfully, to be assertive, only find myself in a yelling match with these people. I try just keeping my mouth shut, but then they wonder why I haven’t said anything in reply to whatever they are saying. I try agreeing with them as much as I can without feeling like a total sham, but that’s hard on me. I eventually have to just walk away because of psychosomatic issues like a headache or stomach ache.

I’m one of those who has a terrible time telling lies. I can do it, but expect me to recount it with the truth, probably sooner than later. Being a phony with people doesn’t work well with me. Fear of being found out dwells deep within me at first and, eventually, takes over everything. Only spilling out the truth sets me free.

I’m perplexed as to why these people think they can be allowed to have such control over me. I question why they think whatever they say is more valid than what I say. I wonder why they must put contrary statements into the middle of my part of the conversation.

Although I can’t say I don’t mind being wrong about something, if I am wrong, I certainly want to be corrected so I can be right from there on forward. However, I’m hurt and exasperated when I’m certain I have my facts straight and these people automatically presume I’m wrong without hearing me out.

Do they believe I’m wrong because I’m disabled? Does my inability to walk like everyone else and use my right arm like everyone else predispose my capabilities to not have the right information? Or is it that I’m a threat to them in some way, and they have a dire need to have control over whatever is frightening them about me?

I assure you, if I could find more people to have face-to-face time with who would give me the respect I believe I deserve, I’d be spending a lot of time with them and enjoying their company.

Is there a way I can send different vibes out? Would I have to put on a different attitude that I’m not used to having? And if it is a different attitude that would do the job, what is that attitude?

As my life is though, I will continue to sidestep these encounters as often as I can. Of course, because life is what it is, I can’t avoid these people all together. It’s a crying shame too.

§

Do you have people in your life who are like this?

Image provided by Board of Wisdom http://boardofwisdom.com/togo/?#.V-f3wzV_T_o
Image provided by Board of Wisdom
http://boardofwisdom.com/togo/?#.V-f3wzV_T_o

 

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16 Replies to “Sending Out the Wrong Vibes”

  1. Like you, I too prefer to spend less face-to-face time too with people. There is just something very comforting about being with myself and just being who I want to be without anyone say anything about me – you are free to think and construct who you are.

    I don’t think it’s you. Maybe it’s others around you or those whom you simply come across. Every one of us have our own perspectives and some of us fear or are rather skeptical about what we don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have trouble with a group, large or small. There are times I am talking and from the body language, I find that I’m talking to myself. I get cut off. I don’t know, maybe it is the insecurities of the others?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I prefer face-to-face, but I run into those people there, too. I do believe that I can learn something from any encounter. If I have something to add, I hope to be able to offer it in a respectful manner. Some people can’t be fixed – there, that’s my definitive-I’m-right statement of the day. Take it or leave it, as you like 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It has always seemed to me the person who squawks the loudest has the most to hide. I would hazard a guess you make these people uncomfortable because they KNOW you’re smarter than they.
    On the other hand, some people have never learned to listen to anyone other than the sound of their own voices. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. While I don’t necessarily covet face-to-face conversation, I’ve gotten better at realizing so much more can by conveyed communicated that way. Overall, communication is a messy process. I’ve found it can be helpful to assess the person’s communication style and adjust accordingly, which means being a bit of a chameleon at times. It takes practice, and the years I spent in the classroom were great for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know what you mean, Jeri. And that could be my failing. Can I adjust to someone who feels so foreign to me? I didn’t have this problem with communication when I lived on Crete. I find this odd seeing that it’s a Greek island, definitely foreign to me, an American. Yet, I hit it off with almost everyone I met. Still, this may be something I need to work on more.

      Like

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